Fat City Burger from Melt Bar and Grilled – Cleveland, Ohio

Posted: June 11, 2013 in Burgers
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Melt1June 2, 2013

This is the best question of all time: What would be your last meal before you hit the chair? I could spend hours diagramming my answer in a personalized chart based on what time of day I am supposed to get fried, what types of food my tummy requires and all of the side dishes I crave. The end result, though, almost always will bring me to the entrée called the Fat City Burger from Melt Bar and Grilled in the suburbs of Cleveland.

On my very first visit to this grilled cheese establishment in a few years ago, I felt like Wayne and Garth entering the dressing room for Alice Cooper. “I am not worthy!” I did not care that the wait was about two hours, as I sat I noticed every single patron carrying out a box of food. Then I discovered how many edible objects are arranged on plates.

I probably should have done some stomach exercises in preparation because I became one of those patrons.

Now I count down the days each time before I make my next visit to any one of the four locations, and my cubicle wall even has a menu hanging on it. My latest journey put me in Cleveland June 2, and it once again did not disappoint.

Each Melt defines the word “eclectic.” From Dairy Queen signs and plastic Halloween and Christmas statues, the walls bleed emotions. I personally favor all of the Cleveland Indians and Cleveland Browns memorabilia, no matter how disturbing it can be to the eyes. I just always wonder what the women’s restrooms contain because the men’s rooms’ walls are littered with awesomeness.

In-house menus are listed on the back of old vinyl albums, and it can be quite a chore to determine your order. For example:

-Westside Monte Cristo – ham, turkey, swiss, American, deep fried, dip in mixed berry preserves

-Smokey Russian – turkey, napa vodka kraut, gouda, Russian dressing

-Godfather – 3-cheese lasagna, red sauce, garlic spiked grilled bread, provolone

-Parmageddon – 2 pierogi, napa vodka kraut, grilled onions, cheddar

-Turtle Pizza Roll – pizza rolls, marinara, pesto cream cheese, provolone, romano

-Rising Sun – Asian marinated fish or seafood, ginger wasabi dressing, lettuce, tomato, muenster

-Wet Hot Buffalo Chicken – chicken breast, spicy buffalo sauce, celery and blue cheese slaw, ranch

-El Diablo Burger – 8 oz steak burger, ancho, pasilla negro and chipotle pepper rub, jalapeno, pepper-jack

That is not even close to half the selections. I have likely frequented the Melt about seven times in my life, and on all but one of these occasions I ordered the same thing: Fat City Burger. With a local adult beverage of course (and they have a massive list to choose from).

Served on thick slices of toasted bread, this monster features a healthy dose of salami, ham, bacon, Swiss and American. When it arrives in front of you, do not dive in. Take a couple of minutes to stare at this creation. Take a few pictures of it if you feel inclined to brag to your friends as well. After a sip from the beer glass, carefully consume the first bite as you do not want food particles to escape. With each chapter of this burger brings different tastes. On one bite, you not only get the burger, but maybe the cheese. The next bite could feature a good heap of ham or salami. Nibble on the hand-cut fries, oh they’re soooo good.

I’m ready for the chair.

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